- September 2nd, 2016
- Comedy / Horror
- 1 Hour 26 Minute Run Time
Yoga Hosers is the second film in Kevin Smith’s “True North” horror trilogy that started with “Tusk”. Hoser’s is also being labeled as his first real kid friendly film. Does it stand well with Smith’s other films though?
Hoser’s follows Colleen and Colleen, two teenage girls obsessed with yoga, boys, and their phones. Wanting to throw a party in their empty store after close for the boys they like they soon discover that they are under attack by a army of Nazi sausage monsters that enter in your butt and exit your mouth killing you in the process. With the help of a private detective they must battle for their lifes to stop their Nazi monsters.
Now the story really is far out there in the odd department. Instead of packing the punch of comedy, drama, and heartfelt moments / messages like Smith’s other films though Hosers instead is just constant attempts at comedic moments. Both girls are simple characters just wanting to live their lifes, be in their band, be popular online and have the boys they want. It’s sad in the sense that the girls played by Lily-Rose Depp (Johnny Depp’s daughter) and Harley Quinn Smith (Kevin Smith’s daughter) (both real life best friends) have the potential to be good actresses if given the right role. The main factor of the movie is almost just playing up time until the monsters can make their appearance.
It really is a bring together for Smith’s family and friends since we have the likes of Johnny Depp reprising his role as Guy Lapointe from the Tusk film. He does steal almost every scene he is in with his outlandish character. Almost the rest of the cast is either family or friends from his other films like Justin Long, Haley Joel Osmet, Jason Mewes, Jennifer Schwalbach, Vanessa Paradis, Adam Brody, and Harley Morenstein. Smith really does like to make sure the one’s he likes have movies to be in.
Really though what really hurts the movie is that even with a good cast and some funny moments the film feels more like a skit that just goes for too long. Yoga Hosers might have been better as a short film instead of dragged to a hour and a half film. Since the film goes super Canadian with everything it can we are left with a lot of jokes that just fall flat when they shouldn’t.
While this movie isn’t horrible per say it may be one of Smith’s worse to date. When the monsters do come (even if they are heavy on the CGI) there is some fun to be had and some jokes do manage to crack a laugh the film just feels to long for it offers. If your a fan of Smith or goofy films then you may get a kick out of this, otherwise this one might not be for you.
Score : 6/10
- September 6th, 2016
- 1 Hour 39 Minute Run Time
Rampage President down is in the final film in Uwe Boll’s Rampage trilogy. Now the first two weren’t that bad especially for Boll’s track record, they were simple films with a messed up premise that ultimately just featured almost nonstop action. President Down however leaves the film has bad note however changing the films tone dramatically.
The film follows lead character Bill from the previous films with a plot this time to do major destruction and panic to the US by taking down the president and others close to him. After taking the president out Bill does back into hiding in the woods staying one step ahead of the FBI who are tracking him while at the same time making videos online for his followers and dealing with the woman that loves him and his new born child.
It’s not a good story in the slightest. Boll pushes his political thoughts very hard in this film with Bill going on rants almost in his videos to his followers. The entire president angle is barely talked about or shown as well so the title can be misleading as well as the image shown on the cover. A good majority of the film is either Bill in his fort in the woods of the FBI agents who are chasing him.
No one in this film comes off as likeable though. Bill is clearly a psychopath with no issue killing the innocent or anyone he deems fit. The FBI agents are incredibly unlikable and cliched. It makes for a case of not being able to get into the film based on everyone being unlikable characters. It doesn’t help as well that the film has a slow pace with nothing truly interesting to help it. Even the end action scene doesn’t help save it enough.
Overall Rampage President Down isn’t a good movie nor a good way to end the trilogy. Filled with a lackluster story and cliched unlikable characters instead of action was a mistake for this. It is very apparent to see why Boll had a hard time getting funding for this film. I can’t recommend it.
Score : 2/10
- September 30th, 2016
- 1 Hour 35 Minute Run Time
Masterminds will go down as possibly the worst comedy of 2016 and will be on the worst of 2016 list which is sad because of it’s great cast.
We follow the true story of one of the largest heists in American history with $17 million dollars being stole. The heist itself was done by what could possibly be considered the dumbest group of criminals ever. Soon though after being set up our main character David Ghantt, who is now the face of the crime is on the run from the FBI. As expected nothing goes as planned and eventually a wild goose chase ensues with the FBI chasing David, David chasing his new love Kelly, while the brains behind the operation Steve tries to remain out of sight.
What truly kills Masterminds however is that for being a comedy, it isn’t really funny in the slightest. The films slapstick gags usually don’t feel funny and the majority of the dialog doesn’t have the humorous aspect going for it. I found that once in the film I truly laughed and that was watching Zach Galifianakis’s character defecate himself in a public pool. The only character who I found myself truly enjoying was Kate McKinnon’s character as David Ghantt’s soon to be wife. She has a dead stare with dry humor and it’s awkwardly funny. It just feels like so much of the dialog and and character’s can’t help the comedy flow smoothly.
This is all such a shame as Masterminds has a great list of comedy actors in it. Including many SNL alumni and 3/4ths of the new Ghostbusters film gives the film the big name push it needs which only makes me so much more disappointed at the film we go. I did find Zach Galifianakis’s character almost unbearable though. It may in part have had to do with his accent for the film but I just didn’t feel for his character at all which doesn’t help since he is the main focus. Really none of the the characters here connected the way they should. Kristen Wiig and Owen Wilson both are unlikable in the film even if Owen does have a shining moment or two. Jason Sudeikis however does he role well as the hitman where he makes his scenes work well.
Overall Masterminds falls flat on what could of been something good. With an all star cast behind it instead we are given almost nonstop jokes that fall flat making the hour and a half run time feel like more. This is just one that really can’t be recommended to even fans of these actors.
Score : 1/10